The military lifestyle can sometimes feel like an entirely
different world – especially to civilians who do not directly face it on a daily basis, or
specifically to those who get quickly tossed into a military relationship.
These dealings are by no means easy, whether it be as a parent, grandparent,
spouse, sibling, or extended family member of your serviceman.
Take me for example. I have been with my boyfriend,
Christian, through all five years of his military experience thus far. Although
this is something we have had the chance to experience and learn about
together, he is an Army brat and has been living this life since day one. I,
however, have not.
And even after five years, there is still so much for me to
learn.
Thankfully, I found a lot of people who can help all of us!
Throughout this blog’s entirety, all things civilians should
know about the military lifestyle will be addressed through research of my own and the many
words of wisdom of service member’s families, as well as servicemen themselves. My
research has covered several branches of the military -- Army, Air Force, and
Coast Guard -- so the information shared will cover a multitude of experiences.
Although the military lifestyle is not one that all
individuals lead or encounter, it is one that is important for the world to
know and understand because these individuals and their families are the ones
making the greatest sacrifices for our country.
According to a 2012 article found in the New York Times, a smaller share of Americans currently serve in the Armed Forces than at any other given point in time since World War II. Because of this, a gap continues to grow between the uniformed men and women and our civilian population. Less service members equals less civilians with a direct connection to the military. Ultimately, our military is far less connected to the rest of society than it has been in previous decades, making members ties to their families and support systems much more important.
I have been in the process of conducting interviews with numerous individuals - wives, sisters, parent in-laws, and daughters - currently closely related to the military lifestyle. Their stories are all very similar and very different in many ways. Yes, they all are connected to the military through a loved one. No, they have never served themselves. Yes, they have dealt with great distances between their service members and their families. Some have gone through deployments. Some have played the role of Mom and Dad while their spouse was gone.
Some have been living this lifestyle for years and years, others have barely scraped the surface of it.
A great difference lies in this last sentence. A small handful of my interviewees fall into the category of "living this lifestyle for years" prior to marrying a service member, or having their sibling or child enter the Armed Forces. These individuals attest that although having had past experience has made them more knowledgeable and has provided them with some experiences and lessons they could jot down, stick in their back pockets and pull out to use for later on, it has not made this lifestyle a fairy tale. New struggles are always on the horizon, deployments will always be hard, and friendships have to constantly be new. But, they embrace it.
A 22 year-old woman, daughter of a LTC (Lieutenant Colonel) in the U.S. Army who has served for 23 years, has lived and breathed the Army her entire life. Along with being the daughter of a LTC, she is in a long-term relationship with a 1LT (First Lieutenant). The Army is literally all she has ever known.
"I was born into the military life so it is the only life I have ever known. I can't imagine any other way!"
However, the greater group of interviewees that were thrown into this whirlwind of a life have said that it is one heck of a ride. The experiences are always new, there are always lessons to be learned, there are lots of tears (both happy and sad), and there is a continuous fear of the unknown. Personally, I agree with them!
But one commonality among both groups of individuals is this: they are all stronger than they ever knew.
It takes someone with a big heart, an open mind, a sense of adventure, willingness, desire, and patriotism to pursue a relationship of any kind - sibling, parent, spouse, child - with a service member. We must never forget that although it is the service men and women who go out and fight for our country, it is these individuals who make a great sacrifice alongside them. And everyone's story is different.
The military life can only really be known and understood once it has been experienced, whereas the civilian life is something most everyone knows and often takes for granted. We all know what it means to be a civilian, but most Americans don't truly understand the military and the difference in the two lifestyles. My hopes are that this blog's course will lead to a better understanding of this "other world" and better prepare civilians who may enter this lifestyle with some notes to keep in their own back pockets.
