Support Groups

Christian joined the Army right after his high school graduation in August 2009. We had only been dating eight short months when he left for military schooling in Pennsylvania while I finished my last year of high school in New York. I knew he would be safe at school and that our only battle would be figuring out the distance. That took some time to do, but we eventually found a routine that worked for us throughout that first school year. I remember the first day I came home to a letter in my mailbox, numerous video chats that consisted of us simply working on homework while the camera was up and we rarely exchanged words, the seven hour train rides he would take home, and the seven hours of me anxiously waiting to head to the station to pick him up. I learned a lot about myself that year, and a lot about what our still new relationship could endure. But, I remember how tough it was. When recalling that first year, I always say that if I had known some one else like me who was going through a relationship under similar circumstances, that year probably would have gone a lot better. If I had just one friend I could call who understood what I felt like when I was sad or overly excited, that year would have been different. Luckily for me, my family has always been supportive of my relationship, Christian's family has loved me like their own, and Christian was and continues to be my go-to-guy.

Support systems...you need them. A group of people who share advice, personal experiences, feelings, information, and friendships with each other to help through the tough days and celebrate in the joyous days...absolutely necessary.

Luckily, the military understands the troubles that military families face alongside their service members when choosing to take on the hardships of this lifestyle and provides them with plenty of support groups to call on any time of the day. 

The FRG (Family Readiness Group) is a support group for each specific unit that aids in creating a sense of belonging for the family members of the military to both the unit and the community. They are helpful in creating and developing friendships, providing information, and creating a better understanding as to why deployments are necessary to the mission. 

Many interviewees have noted that they are a part of the FRG for their spouse's unit, which has allowed for them to transition to their new home smoothly as well as becoming a source for friendships and information. I urge you to be a part of yours!

The Army also has AFTB (Army Family Team Building) at each post, helping to empower and develop individuals, ultimately creating a community that meets the "military mission." Although the AFTB does not provide support by bringing families together to create friendships, rather for families and individuals to grow on their own, friendships are inevitable, so joining the AFTB at your post will undoubtedly be helpful in finding others who are walking in your shoes.

Social media sites, often linked through Facebook, are common support groups that many in the military lifestyle get involved in. Nearly every post has a Facebook page - something along the lines of "Fort Campbell Spouses" - that is accessible to family members for support big and small, from "My spouse is deployed and..." to "Do you know the best pizza place?" Friendships are quickly formed through these pages as one can easily pinpoint individuals most similar to themselves. 

For me, social media support groups have led me to some of my closest friends. When Christian began his journey through the United States Military Academy at West Point, I joined a social media support group that immediately changed my internal battles of dating a man in the military. Knowing people were out there who were going through the same things as me, having friends all across the globe, and creating friendships that will last a lifetime was a game changer being a civilian in a military relationship. So don't knock them before you try them, and remember...there's a group for that!