Moving!

It is common knowledge that if one is involved in the military lifestyle, they will most likely move...a lot. These moves oftentimes are burdens and blessings all mixed in to one, but that sometimes can depend on who you ask.

This particular post stirs up many emotions and uncertainties for me, because this past Thursday, Christian was assigned his first post assignment following his graduation from West Point in May. In about one year’s time, he will be heading to Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and I (fingers crossed) will be making my first move from home (ever!) with him.

So let’s break it down (for all of us!).

First, it is known that by joining the Armed Forces, there is typically a five to eight year minimum requirement of commitment and service. However, there is an understanding that taking promotions adds years to the service member's commitment time, as well as being reassigned, or attending special courses. Oftentimes, commitments extend well over ten years, and sometimes the military becomes a lifelong career.

If you’re one of the people who view moving as a burden, than this life is probably not for you.

In a short book, “Closing the Gap: Understanding Your Service(Wo)man”  an experienced Army wife, Yvonne Jones, talks a great deal about moving and dealing with the separations from family and friends. Jones says “memories become your most precious possessions and ‘home’ becomes where the military sends you.” I imagine that this statement could not hold more truth.

One thing is worth noting as a commonality among the group of individuals I interviewed in preparing for this project. When the topic of moving was discussed, almost every individual mentioned this: Although endless benefits come along with constant moves, like traveling the world and having friends everywhere you go, having a “home” is something most civilians take for granted, and more often than not, military families crave the permanent and steady way of life.

One interviewee, sister of a 2LT (Second Lieutenant) in the United States Army, mentioned how dealing with the distance between herself and her brother became increasingly harder once he made his first “real” move to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Second Lieutenant Witt left his home and family in Michigan to attend the United States Military Academy at West Point, NY in 2009. He is a graduate of the class of 2013. His sister, Meredith, stated that although the distance between herself and her brother was much greater while he attended school, knowing he is no longer under the protection of the Academy makes the distance from Michigan to Ft. Leonard Wood, MO (where 2LT Witt was stationed at time of interview) seem much farther.

Second Lieutenant Witt’s wife, Kayla, also offered insight to the topic of moving, noting that so far her greatest separations have been with her own family and friends. For family, Kayla is sure to always have a plan to look forward to and a countdown to cross days off of. She has made it a point to plan visits with her family about once a month. For friends, Kayla stated that “maintaining friends is a two way street.” She said it best by saying, “The friendships that have lasted are the ones in which no hard feelings are felt if five voice mails have to be left on either side before a connection is finally made.”

One blog, So You Call Yourself a Homeschooler, shows an article that featured a guest post written by a woman who shared things she had learned about civilians and military families. Her article highlighted a list of things that civilians should know about the military life, and lent a list of “lessons” to the reader. Two in particular stuck out to me in dealing with moving:

 “Lesson 6: Teach your kids to be welcoming.”

This one seemed important to pass along to you, the readers, because military families come and go… A LOT. I grew up right outside the gates of the United States Military Academy at West Point, NY, and I have experienced first-hand that the friendships I have made with the military kids were the most genuine ones I have ever had. And it always seemed that just as our friendship was blossoming, their family was already preparing to move away. Teaching your family to be welcoming - and being welcoming yourself - allows friendships to flourish quickly and for the individuals to maximize the time they have together. We all know what it feels like to be the “new kid” in some aspect of life, so being welcoming and friendly to new faces will benefit all parties.

“Lesson 7: You will truly be able to minister to military families by becoming family with them.”

It is important to recognize that most times when military families move, it is to an area that they don’t have family living near them. It says a lot about who you are by lending a helping hand to babysit, inviting them over for dinner, or even planning a night out. The military community is very much like their very own family, and I’ve heard it’s a pretty cool one to be a part of!

So regardless of if you view moving often as a burden or a blessing, it must be accepted as a part of the lifestyle. You may not always like it, but what good does being angry about it do for you? Keep in contact with friends and family near and far, be open to change and new experiences, and keep a smiling face. "Embrace the suck" as I have heard many military families say, and consider yourself blessed to see the world.